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Of course, because no one is screening the questions, some Nic Cage–looking bro in a bathrobe asks about the Miller kidnapping and, duh, a plant from the Underwood campaign presses Conway on the details of his rescue mission.

Making matters even more intense: This plant is none other than the man Conway saved, Squire, and his brother.

— with revenge porn some shitty guy made, he walked away from the deal.

Bridget shows up to watch Seth be supremely douchey — trying to get “a skosh more reverb” on a mic during sound check — to flirt with him and thank him for alerting her to said sex crime, which she has had scrubbed from the internet. First, the good: a beautifully shot scene in which Frank and Claire act along with , an Election Day tradition from the earliest days of their marriage.

I literally laughed out loud when Claire said Tom “hums in his sleep sometimes,” like the sentient Instagram filter he is. In the midst of all this is something weird with Seth and Bridget, whom we met last week and who asked Seth to testify against Doug Stamper.

(Well, she asked him for dirt on Frank, and Doug was the consolation prize.) Seth won’t do it if he can’t be anonymous, and after threatening her — or warning her?

The PTO is very appreciative of the parent support that has made these gifts possible.

And since I’m on the subject, a woman who loves to have sex is not the S. I wanted to kiss you.” But bad news — along with the episode’s real weakness — comes crashing in: Frank hears from Doug that turnout is low. To this I say: WAS THIS NOT THE ENTIRE FREAKING POINT OF THE PAST TWO EPISODES? What was Frank trying to do by closing a bunch of polling places and consolidating them into heavily armed voting centers if than zero sense. What’s weird is we’re brought up to believe that men do the talking. We tell each other our most risky adventures, how we were seduced by our partners, and if we’re really satisfied we brag (in a funny way) about just how lucky we are.

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